TREKKING: 31st January 2017: Black Day

At the dawn of 31st Jan'17 received a call from my uncle. Before picking up the call I checked the time and it was sharp 6am. I thought of to avoid the call as I was sleeping. But as soon as the ring stopped I made up my mind to call him back and the first word of his was "Tum So rahe the kya, abhi tume Ghar aana hai Bhabhiji ki Tabiyat bahut kharab hai" I had doubt that something went wrong but at the same time my mind was saying this is impossible as I just talked a day before to her. She was seating in the courtyard of our home.

This was the Last Call I made to my Love

Wish I knew that this will be the last call of mine with her, I would have talked for a Day at least. :( . Then, I called up again to Chachaji "Agar kuch ho gaya hai Ma ko to bata do " and he Said "Haan wohi samaj lo". For me it was like I lost my everything. As I have not even imagined ever to live my life without her. I was shivering, I made a call to Ramesh Bhaiya and started crying like anything. I was almost fainted for 10-20 minutes. Later I assumed (as my mind was not accepting it at all) if Ma has really left us. I need to reach for her funeral :( but above all I need to take Rohit (My younger Brother), Who is in Allahabad for UPSC exam's preparation. At last I booked him a flight ticket from Allahabad to Delhi and told to Vijay Tomar one of my friend in Delhi to arrange him a cab from Delhi to Dehradun as soon as he reached Delhi.

Before that I made a call to Golu(USA) and told "Ma ne chor diya hume". I dont know how she might have managed but she try her level best not to let me down. In every 5 minutes she called me up.

I took a direct flight to Ddun. I was trying my level best not to cry in the flight but it was unavoidable for me. In the entire journey I cried and cried till I reached Delhi. In Delhi Saurav came to meet me at airport as he was going back to Bangalore from home. I was not in a position to think anything but to cry as and when anyone was calling me. I was alone throughout the Journey from Mumbai to Dehradun. My only worry was how to face my family at home and above all how to face Rohit, I reached Dehradun at 5 pm. I went to My mosiji's home at Dehradun as they were waiting for me and Rohit. Rohit was supposed to reach Dehradun by 3am in the next morning.

Now the first and the most difficult phase of my life came to meet Rohit. Me and Vipin Bhaiya(My Mosi's Son) went to ISBT Dehradun at 3 Am and as soon as I saw rohit I was crying hard but pretended as if nothing has happened. Once we reached back to Mosi's home, the first question asked by Rohit was "Ma kahan hai muje unse milna hai" I left the room and started crying like anything in another room. I was not able to take breath. Somehow Mosiji made him possible to convince him that she is in hospital and we all (Me, Rohit & Rahul(my cousin )) have to go there by 4am. Rohit had some milk then the time was come to tell him the truth. Mosiji said "jo hona tha ho gaya ab mein hi hun tumari Ma" That time I was not in position to think anything. At 5 am we started our journey to my Native as last funeral was supposed to happen there only.

Second most difficult part was to face my father ,my sister and relative and above all My First and the Last Love, Ma without her I never even wanted to see my home.

As soon as I reached at my village(9am, 1st Feb), her beautiful soul was sleeping there and I saw my father crying at the same time Ramesh Bhaiya told me "idar aaja bhai dekho humari ma kitni sunder lag rahi , bas bol nhi rahi". I just looked at her once and never dare to look again. I was dying. It was just I lost everything. She was the most beautiful lady for me in the entire world.

The third and the last phase: Funeral.

Panditji told us to see her last time I touched her hand and I still/forever feel it from my bottom of my heart. As soon as the fire went into sky , I thought I had lost my tears and was just crying from inside. I was seating besides Rohit and we all were waiting for the funeral to get off.

So that was the end of my era as after it I was quite sure I have lost my mother for forever. Everyday I used to see her pics so that she will come to me at least in my dreams but for last 15-16 days she never come. I don't know how to recover from this phase but I always pray to God don't let this happen so soon (52 Yrs)with other as it happened to us. Because You can get everything and you can replace everything but not mother. She is the only soul , who loves You unconditionally for forever.